Creating a Home Environment that Welcomes and Supports Love
Along with Money and Career, Love is right at the top of the list for most of my clients when they mention the area of their life that they’d most like to improve. Feng shui can’t solve all our problems, but it can help with the energy needed to bring more joy and happiness into our lives. Whether you are already in love, need to perk up your current relationship, or are still looking for that special someone, feng shui can help you create an environment that will support the energy of love and romance. Below I’ve given you ten tips on how to get your home “in the mood” for love!
1. Out with the Old
I often work with clients who hold on to keepsakes, belongings, and mementos from the past. The problem with keeping items that either belonged to or remind you of a former flame is that physical items hold energy, and the more emotion associated with the item, the more energy that item holds. When you hold onto items from the past, it can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from embracing the joy of the future. Physically letting go of items that remind you of former loves can be a very empowering first step towards welcoming in a new, happier and healthier relationship.
2. Are you Loving YOU?
Whether you want to admit it or not, your surroundings speak volumes about not only your interests and passions, but also about how you feel about youself. I’ve been inside countless homes, condos, and apartments over the years and I can’t begin to list how many single people I have worked with whose spaces feel cold, unfinished, and uncomfortable. The problem with this is that a home like this creates the impression (rightly or wrongly) of someone who doesn’t nurture or value themselves, and who would in turn, have difficulty nurturing and caring for others. This doesn’t mean your home has to look like it came right out of a magazine. It just means adding a few key things like throw rugs, plush bath towels, a comfortable piece of furniture, a piece of attractive artwork and adding a healthy plant or two. These simple things go a long way to not only make your home or apartment feel more nurturing to you, but to your potential sweetheart too.
3. Evaluate your Artwork
I worked with a single woman who had a huge, old-fashioned comic book style photo in her living room with a woman sitting by the phone that said, “He never calls, he never writes”. When I asked her about it she told me that
she bought it because that was a theme throughout her dating life. She thought it was funny. I thought it was sad and told her to take it down immediately. It also was not a good first impression for a potential suitor. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, your artwork should reflect positive images, especially if it depicts a situation or emotion. Go on art.com and type in the words “romance” or “love” and you’ll start to find artwork that is more in alignment with having a happy relationship. If you are already in a relationship, then make sure to have photos of the two of you here and there in your home. It helps anchor the feeling of togetherness in your space.
4. Keep Distractions out of the Bedroom
I frequently work with couples who allow their children to sleep in the bed with them. While I’m not judging whether or not this is right or wrong, I do know that it impacts the romance between parents. It’s hard to have intimacy when you have a five year old in your bed. I once worked with a couple whose 13 year old son slept in a sleeping bag on the floor of their bedroom! It’s a little hard to feel frisky when your children are right there with you, so it might be time to re-evaluate sleeping arrangements. Other things in the bedroom that can impact intimacy are strong religious items, photographs of other people, children’s toys, exercise equipment and negative or depressing artwork. The bedroom should be a place to rest, rejuvenate and reconnect with your partner, anything else and you may find yourself feeling disconnected in your relationship.
5. Get a “Big Girl”/”Big Boy” Bed
One thing I mention frequently is the importance of having a bed with a significant, solid headboard (either upholstered or wood). Your college days are over, and it’s time to sleep in a grown up bed. A bed like this provides a feeling of security and comfort, both important feelings for cuddling up with your sweetie. Make sure your linens are soft and attractive.
6. Eat at the Dining Room Table
Years ago I had a French boyfriend. He used to ask me if we were going to eat dinner “American Style” (which meant on the couch in front of the TV) or “French Style” (sitting at the table with candlelight). I have to admit we probably ate in front of the TV more often than at the table, but those candlelit dinners always connected us in the evenings and made our relationship feel more special. Even if you have children, a “date night” at home now and then can really help keep your relationship special. Another easy thing you can do is to put your dining room lights on a dimmer switch to be able to instantly change the mood in the room.
7. Place Items in Pairs
Humans are constantly picking up subtle cues from the environment which can influence thoughts and behavior patterns. People will often unconsciously decorate their home to mirror what is going on in their lives. In other words, single people tend to decorate their home with images of single things. What we think about is what we manifest. To reorient the mind towards partnership, feng shui recommends placing single items in pairs throughout the home (two candles instead of one, artwork that depicts two images instead of solo items (two birds, two cats, two trees, two people) etc. This way your subliminal mind will pick up on the idea of pairs and partnership instead of solitude and loneliness, which will in turn help to energetically manifest a partner. Avoid placing items in sets of three however, or you may draw in someone who already has someone, and very few people would be happy with that arrangement!
8. Activate the Southwest point in your Home
The southwest meridian is associated with Love & Romance in Feng Shui. The element that “activates” the southwest is earth (rock, stone, ceramic, minerals, etc.)
In metaphysics the stone associated with love is rose quartz. Something that I like to do in the southwest is place a pair of rose quartz hearts (you can purchase a pair on my web site) on the southwest meridian in your home. To determine where this meridian is, see chapter 6 in my book Feng Shui that Makes Sense for exact instructions on how to do this.
9. Make Room for Love
Similar to the first tip I gave you, it is important to make space in your home for the presence of a partner. If your garage, dressers and closets are full to the brim, there is no room (literally) for someone else. Make space in your closet, drawers, and night stand for someone in your life. As they say, “If you build it, they will come.” De-cluttering is a fantastic way to get ready to welcome new love, or to enhance the love you already have.
10. Create a Balance between Extremes
Many single men will decorate their homes in an extremely masculine fashion (picture leather furniture, chrome and glass, and the occasional baseball trophy, beer sign, or moose head), while many single women go overboard on flowers, ruffles, and pastels. In order for someone else to feel comfortable in your space, it’s a good idea to try to create a decor that is more “gender neutral”. If you need help deciding whether or not your space feels too masculine or feminine, ask a friend or sibling of the opposite sex to give you an honest critique.
While feng shui by itself can’t magically cause you to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, creating a space that sets the tone for love and partnership can go a long way to help you manifest, or to keep love and romance in your life. For more advice on how to strengthen the energy of love in your home, check out my best-selling book, Feng Shui that Makes Sense.
Copyright 2015, Cathleen McCandless All Rights Reserved