In order to attract a healthy, loving relationship we must first address any negative feelings that may keep us from loving ourselves. Like attracts like, so it is very important that we work on our self-love before we expect someone else to love us. Our beliefs create our reality, so when attracting a healthy relationship, it is important to consider the following:
Do you feel you deserve and are worthy of a happy, healthy relationship?
We attract events and people into our lives that reflect how we feel about ourselves, so it is important to address our own self worth and self-esteem issues before setting out to attract a partner. The more positive you feel about yourself, the more positive people you will attract. If you say to yourself, “He/she will just have to accept me as I am.” Be sure to ask yourself whether or not you accept yourself as you are. If not, what are you going to do to remedy that? Lose some weight, exercise more, get a make-over, go back to school…what? The better you feel about yourself the more attractive you will be to a potential partner and the higher the probability you will attract the love you are looking for.
Are you looking for someone for the right reasons?
Wanting to share our life with someone for love, comfort, and companionship is natural for most of us. But many people seek a partner to fulfill what is lacking in their own lives. If you are seeking a partner for status, financial security, or any other superficial reason you are sure to lose in the end. Looking for a partner to fill up a missing piece in our own lives will only lead to disappointment.
Instead, work on your own financial and emotional security. Not only will you feel better about yourself and improve your own life, but others will see you as self-confident and secure. Two irresistible qualities!
Do you have a clear vision of what you would like in a partner?
Most people put out to the Universe the statement, “I want to manifest a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife etc.” and leave it at that. Then they are frustrated or disappointed by the people that come into their lives who don’t measure up to their desires or expectations. In order for the Universe to bring you the partner you desire, you must be clear about the qualities you are looking for in that person.
You would never go out to purchase a home or car without a specific set of things you are looking for, so why would you approach finding a compatible partner any differently?
Spend some time making a detailed list of the qualities you desire in a partner. Be as specific as possible. It does no good to write down that you want someone who is “financially secure” if you do not add, “and is generous with me in sharing love, money, and possessions” or you might end up with someone who is indeed financially secure, but is also a selfish miser.
Don’t be afraid to put down the tiniest details on your list. You may even want to read over your list with a trusted friend to find out if they have any suggestions for you. For example, you may want to add something less obvious like “My partner shares the same body clock as I”. This way you are asking for a partner who gets up and goes to bed at the same time as you. Partners with very dissimilar sleeping patterns can play havoc with your love life, so add that to your list! Be as detailed as you possibly can be. Then set your list aside and read it over from time to time and make any changes or modifications as you wish.
Can you imagine yourself in a happy, loving relationship?
Once you have made your detailed list, spend some time daydreaming or meditating on how it will feel to have this wonderful new love in your life. How do their arms feel around you? Think of their kiss and the way their hair smells as they nuzzle next to you. Imagine how it will be to cook and eat a meal together, to sleep together, to laugh together. Make the image and feelings as real as possible. Feel as if this great love is already in your life. Try to do this exercise at least once a day. First thing in the morning or before you go to sleep at night is a great time to practice. By getting into the “feelings” of the relationship you will be giving energy to manifesting better and more quickly the love you seek.
Do you get out and make yourself available?
You can’t expect Ms. or Mr. Right to knock on your door and sweep you away. You need to help the Universe by getting out and allowing the possibility to present itself. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t go out and buy a ticket!
Are you focusing on “lack” or “having” in your life?
If you are focused on the fact that you are alone, you will keep being alone. To shift this situation, instead be grateful and aware of all the love you do have in your life in the form of friends, pets, and family members. When you focus on the love you already have, you are sure to bring more love to you.